A Nameless Person on the Web

2008-02-11T14:23:00.000Z

THi5 I5 M4DNE55

N0 TH1S 15 WUM1NG!!!111!!!

2007-12-10T02:10:00.000Z

why is it that i have
to struggle against a cosmic
omniscient being?
oh the in
humanity of it all

10 dec 2008

2007-07-28T17:07:00.001Z

got a sudden call this afternoon from crap, who said he got free NDP preview tickets, so i decided ell since im so free might as well go down yea? supposed to LAN with the guys but you can LAN any other day, watch NDP once a year only! and this year one supposed to be more special.. so anyhow toss on a red shirt and off im out to meet up with crap and jy.

this year NDP was held at marina waterfront instead of national stadium. while the seating capacity is alot smaller, the performance area is alot larger, since they are now free to use the water around and the open area allows aircraft to approach nearer. the city scape and the merlion makes for nice backdrop for the viewers too, and the organisers have cleverly used some of the building arounds, and im sure all this space will lend to more creative and interesting displays! this years parade was more focused on special effects, fire and use of the sea area rather than fanciful or interesting costumes, so other than a couple of oooh and aaaah moments it was pretty mundane, but still very fun notheless! and here are some pics

three of us jy crap and me

the fly by. nice.

jellyfish on the water

curtain of fire

its getting dark!

2007-07-23T17:35:00.000Z

i have rationally come to the decision that basically theres a very slim chance of me ever getting together with X. all those non-confirmed excuses.. i think just a gentle way of putting me down and not some evil scheme of hers bah.. at least i hope so! i would still like to think thats shes still a nice girl..

but course theres this undeniable feeling of being played out, pulled by the nose and taken for a ride.. who wouldnt? after surfing around for some time, i stumbled upon http://www.joelogon.com/platonic/ which is pretty much a gathering of similarly fated losers sharing their experiences. and indeed im a loser, for now theres only 3 options available.

stick around like the idiot ive been, relying on false hope
remain friendly, and torture myself in her presence
quietly distance myself and look like a jerk

in any case, its pretty much a lose-lose situation. option 3 seems to be in the works now, cos the recent amount of communication has been steadily dropping.. i really dun care what she thinks of it, she probably doesnt have a very high opinion of me anyway.

while all this self-bashing has been going on, i seem to be getting more and more bitter. is it my fault, or is it hers? maybe what ppl have been telling me all along are correct.. i still remember J1 telling me to tell her early instead of dragging it on.. J2 telling me shes not worth it..

i always thought it wasnt the correct time, since we were busy etc, but then again when will it be the time then? it was only after going out of the country for so long that made me think about it thoroughly, and realised that it is time to settle that nagging doubt in my mind, regardless of the answer.

the best time is always now, and its only after so long that i have realised this. if you really like a person, and the feeling is mutual, time and circumstance largely will not matter, for you will want to work out the problems hindering you, instead of using them as excuses. this comes from the reasons she gave.. if she was truly interested in me, she would probably have wanted to work out the kinks, instead of bringing them up as excuses to make everything sound nice and dandy.

at least now the situation has come to a close, and i can move on. i doubt i can take another round of fear, apprehension, suspicion, false hopes and finally the dismay at the end of it.. all the time spent.. well i wouldnt call it wasted, but it was definitely invested wrongly, a price to pay for my folly. can i honestly say that i knew the real you? that all that you told me is truth and not dalliance? probably not, seeing the situation now.

it also dawned upon me how much emphasis i put on her that i neglected all the other girls that were around as well.. well she surely never had that sort of problem heh. its bad for my social health, but then again being a WoW player and a nerd doesnt really help either. this post is getting more emo and QQ by the minute, and i guess i really should wrap up..

though i feel really bitter, i still can bring myself to think too badly of you, and still wish you all the best in your efforts to hook up men, which you seem to be working on pretty well. may you find true happiness, i know im still a long way from mine.. and by the way, you really are a clueless dolt you know?

lol. good bye.

2007-05-20T02:57:00.001Z

ive got an exam coming in a couple of days. im woefully unprepared, and yet i dont feel.. pressured? scared? i dunno. compared to A levels this exam is alot harder, and has more consequences if i fail but somehow.. i just dont feel the NEED to do very well anymore, no desire to achieve results that everyone else seem so concerned with.. i wonder why..

singaporeans are usually scared of losing out, most of them dont want to really go all out and be the first, be the best or whatever, they are just scared of losing to their neighbours, their friends, losing respect etc. its not a desire to win, its a desire to not lose that drives ppl to work hard.. however.. i dun really bother that much anymore.. is it because in life.. you can never truly win or lose? in a competition theres 1 winner and hundreds of losers.. so in life theres 1 winner and 5.9 billion losers? guess not. so that means to be a winner in life, it is depedant on your own expectations out of yourself...?

i guess i have horribly low expectations out of myself =) that way im always a winner, and thats whats count isnt it? hah! i guess its because i no longer have a proper goal to work towards, an achievable target that i can set myself, or that other ppl have set for me. alot of things dont really mean much to me anymore, like money, prestige, reputation, grades.. so what exactly am i here for? what exactly is my purpose? i have no idea.

after working to achieve this nameless entity, i guess i have finally made it.. a nameless person, just like anyone and everyone else on the street. no one would care about a person who has no name to them, and thats reality. ive worked to lose myself, and i finally have, a directionless, nameless person. a clean slate.

the next stage, is the start of something new.

2006-12-01T04:09:00.000Z

recently i managed to purchase a cool paper weight check it out

its a glass frame filled with black / white sand and water. from the picture you can see that it makes a pretty nice mix of black sand with white streaks at the bottom. how it works is that you need to invert the frame quickly.. and this is what you get

air bubbles will support the sand which is now at the top after being inverted. the sand is fine enough to trickle through the bubbles onto the bottom layer, and will start to form a new pattern. the white sand is lighter than the black, and thus when the sand settles it will form nice streaks of black and white. the bubbles will try to move upwards, while the sand tries to move downwards, thus sand will constantly be allowed the flow through the bubbles. as to where the sand can trickle through its totally random, thus new patterns are always formed. its pretty interesting considering that its on my desk, and whenever i have nothing to do i will just invert it and see the trickling of sand, slowly forming a new pattern of black and white..

our life is never so clear cut that black and white are separate, they mingle and mix with each other. as a result interesting patterns can result, and that is what makes life beautiful. yin zhong yi tian yang yang zhong yi tian ying.. its what maintains balance in life.

2006-11-21T02:00:00.000Z

ive been here for a few weeks, and ive yet to see all of london's sights! WTB tour guide for london! i really have no idea where to go, where to start, how to get there etc.. would be good if i can find someone free enough to bring me around the place.. but doubt so.

anyway the works coming in, and i need to do some presentation and write up.. im doing it on hybrid cars, specifically the Toyota Prius.. bet you never heard of it. Anyway, trust the Japanese to come up with the most economical and environmentally-friend hybrid vehicle.. i believe its the prius the revolutionized the whole green driving craze.. here you go a vehicle thats both green and can actually move faster than a snails pace!

they have all sorts of greenie drivers in the states that instead of 'zheng' their car to be faster, louder, and lower like singaporeans, they 'zheng' it to consume less fuel, add higher density batteries so they can last longer, and actually "hack" their vehicles to reach "Stealth Drive" mode.. that is so much more responsible than the average Singaporean! Spending money to save the environment! And Singaporeans actually spend more money to wreck it!

After seeing all the benefits of the Prius, I am quite convinced that it is indeed the most environmentally friendly car, and really want to buy it if i ever need to get a car.. UNTIL YOU SEE THE BLOODY PRICE TAG. It costs nearly $90 000 with COE! holy crap thats like nearly DOUBLE the price of a standard 1.5L Vios! Who the hell is going to buy it man?? I mean countries like the US and here in the UK they actually have tax benefits and all those incentives for buying an environmentally-friendly car.. but singapore? they make you PAY MORE to be environmentally conscious.. not such a smart move eh? thats probably why people have never even heard of the Prius in singapore.. its so bloody expensive theres only one model available, and Toyota Singapore doesnt promote it, ever. but i guess thats just singaporeans.. want bigger, better, badder vehicles to drive on the road, so can hao lian to their friends and girls. theres no bragging rights to owning the most environmentally friendly vehicle in the whole of singapore, and it definitely wont save you your ERP COE and road tax. so.. buy for what?? then if no one buy, sell for what??

2006-11-21T01:42:00.000Z

http://www.machinima.com/article.php?article=459

Interesting article on the filming of the South Park WoW which was apparently very funny to both players and non-players alike.. to me its all the more funny cos some of it is really true. i remember the time when i would stay up to damn super late to do nothing but level my character from 1 to 60.. and then wat do i do once i get to 60? raiding! actually i started raiding because i wanted to see the content WoW had to offer, i want to see hakkar, kill ragnaros, and actually discover what the whole deal AQ is about. i set those goals for myself, and have actually attained them through the very fortunate encounter with jy brother's guild. to me, i have already "beat" the game, for i have accomplished what i thought i would never get to do.. but after rag theres razorgore..

i doubt i will be continuing once my account expires.. its just not worth it! once i log in.. its 4 hours of time that disappears.. not that i had particularly anything interesting to do on that day, except maybe catch up on the work im missing out on.. haha.. and maybe plan what to do for a sunday.. but when will the raiding ever end? after BWL theres AQ40, after that there Naxx.. and after that the expansion Burning Crusade comes out, and theres level 70 raid dungeons to go to.. everytime you think you have "conquered" a dungeon, out pops a new one which requires relearning of the whole raid again. and wat for? those purple items? i mean there was one time where i really wanted those items.. but then i thought, hang on, epic items watever for? so i can heal my enemies to death? thats just dumb! the next time im playing some dmg class, any class except for healers.. in that way i would be getting gear that i can use ALL the time, rather that just for raiding

2006-11-16T00:26:00.000Z

omg.. it has been like 9 months since i last updated.. that time i made a promise to update more.. and only 9 months later then i make another post.. where has all the time gone?? well most of it was sunk into world of warcraft.. i got another character to 60, and finally got my druid on Jubei Thos into a raiding guild, cleared MC, ZG, AQ20 and actually went to BWL.. well i didnt down the bosses in BWL with the guild, but the last i heard they are up to firemaw.. really really good progression for them.. sorry i cant raid with you all now, and all the best Celeritus! im quite sure you all will be in AQ40 and Naxx anytime now =)

that aside, moving to london to study is frankly speaking one of the best impulsive decisions that i have ever made, the other decision being in JC1 when i was lying in bed, and then suddenly decided: screw econs, im going to drop it to take biology. its funny how life can turn out this
way, that i manage to get into 03S75 almost entirely due to a single impulsive decision. if i hadnt made that decision, im pretty sure i wouldnt have found the good friends that i have today.

i have made many impulsive decisions, and these decisions have had many life-changing effects on me. i never know what the outcome might have been, i never know what causes me to make the decisions i make. all i know is i make those decisions, and i am always pleasantly surprised by the outcome, often in the far future. take my decision to come to imperial college, it wasnt made due to any particular reason, i just decided to come here because i couldnt be bothered to apply to US and Oxford / Cambridge, and imperial was pretty high up the list, so here i am. i am very much pleased to come to london, and i know for sure that i wouldnt be as happy in oxford / cambridge. living and studying in one of the greatest cities in the world is indeed an experience that one would never forget.

which reminds me of another impulsive decision.. that i would not want to do medicine. i know alot of ppl expected that i would do medicine, but after thinking about it in JC, i realised that it wasnt what i wanted. sure i like helping ppl (i heal in WoW lol) and stuff, but i wouldnt like to be pigeon-holed. reading medicine would mean im doomed to become a doctor, any other profession otherwise would be deemed a waste. it would also mean that i would be studying in singapore, another thing that i didnt want to. the world is large, singapore is just a tiny corner of it, i just had to go out and take a look at it for myself. my personality does not suit a person that goes out into the wide open world, but to do i want to improve myself, or do i want to be stuck in my comfort zone?

i took that step, and look at where i am now. *yay for me*

2006-02-28T15:40:00.000Z

I think I can only update every Tuesday when I dont WoW.. Any other time is obviously taken up by it. Lol anyway.. Happy birthday to you! No presents, no fancy stuff, maybe I will try to get you a present some time over the weekend, but it seems these kind of things always slip my mind.. WoW is higher priority!

Imagine in the future.. Im sitting there happily playing WoW 3 then suddenly this woman claiming to be my wife pops out of the kitchen reminding me exasperatedly to pick up my KIDS from CCA or tuition or whatever.. Or imagine.. Kids studying for exams.. Father playing games.. Father scolds kids for not playing games with him.. Ooops lol.. Guess to be a gamer you cant have girls kids or family.. you need to be committed! Im not ready to give up playing games as of yet..

I saw this quote on the mindef games forums..

"Girls will come and go, but my games will be with me forever!"

Unless the girl is a gamer as well.. But guess the chance of me finding such a person is so low I guess I will just remain single eh? No big loss anyway, I dont spend too much money, Im always entertained, always doing something I like, no nagging, no useless shopping trips, none of the rubbish couples like to do.. Whats not to love?

2006-02-18T18:21:00.000Z

Im addicted to World of Warcraft! It has taken over the place of Dota.. Too many qutitters and noobs to play a good game with.. 90% of the games played result in a rr, unless its an inhouse. I only play unless theres 1 or 2 friends playing.. Best if 8 to 10 ppl playing together. Can play more AR. WoW is a good game to occupy time.. So many things that you can do in it..

Now Im a level 36 druid on Jubei Thos server.. Its an Oceanic server, more singaporeans on. Come join me if youre free!